Best of Me
by inogirl13
Summary: ShikaIno. Song fic. Twoshot. I never thought I'd be taken by Shikamaru. Lazy, stupid Shikamaru. But I can't imagine life without him now.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Best of Me © inogirl13

(Inspiration from _The Best of Me_ by The Starting Line)

**Best of Me**

**Chapter One**

How could I have not told daddy about us? God, this is so awkward. Why is he just staring at me like that? Doesn't he know we're broken up? Of course, he does. So, why does he keep looking at me!? Go, to bed, lazy ass. However, here _I_ am contemplating him. Maybe he's doing the same thing. Although, who could ever tell anything he's thinking by looking into those deep, mysterious eyes.

Lying here, in two separate beds—by the order of our parents—I wonder: does he feel the deprivation? The craving for lips against his own? The desire for skin under his fingers? Like me. Does he feel me wanting him? Because I do. So much. I wish we had never broken up. I wish even more that my parents had been by our side through the whole thing. Imagine going through heartbreak with your 'rents oblivious to anything being wrong. Even my dad didn't sense anything. Why did we have to keep breaking up a secret? Probably because Shikamaru knew daddy would kill him for tearing my heart in two. Which he did, by the way. Very much so.

God, I wish he'd go to bed. The more he stares at me like that, the more I think of what we _could _be doing right now. Obviously, it's out of the question. No, I won't be the instant satisfaction rebound, only to be left behind, again. But it would be too extraordinary to just climb into bed with him like I used to every night.

I began to feel my cheeks turn red under the embarrassing silence. We'd talked about various things. The Village, how everyone is doing, the weather: everything avoiding our current relationship status. But now the conversation had gone dead. I took that as 'I'm going to sleep now.' But, apparently, Shikamaru didn't get the memo. HE WAS STILL LYING THERE: STARING!!!  
My head was screaming: "Stop!! Just stop stirring up those old emotions!! God, why do I let you do this to me!!?" I was about two seconds away from forcing him to sleep downstairs on the couch, but he spoke.

"So, tell me." He paused, as if turning over in his head the decision to talk. I couldn't make out the details of him. Only a slightly grey shadow. My fingers gripped the rough blankets that my parents considered comfortable. The length of his pause made me worry. But the irrational part of my brain was thinking maybe he would take me back.

Finally, he spoke up, in a whisper.

"What have you thought about while I was gone?" Not the exact question I was expecting. Is it rhetorical? Should I wait for him to keep talking? How do I even answer that honestly without sounding totally pathetic and depressed!?

Well go ahead, Ino. Answer.

_You._"Well…Sasuke-kun, of course!" I put on a cheery smile to lighten the awkward blanket that settled on us. Even though it was dark, I could sort of see him furrow his brow. Was he angry? I mean, I know he's always hated Sasuke, but could he actually be mad that I think about him? Well, that's a lie. I stopped caring about Sasuke years ago. It's all ancient history. Besides, I only shouted my love for him to the world so that I could keep up with Sakura. Forehead girl would never let me live it down if she beat me at something—anything!

But I digress, what was that look on his face? He's actually showing an emotion, but I can't tell what it is! Anger? Sadness? What!? What?

"What's that look for?" I whispered in the dark. My parent's room was right next to the one we were in; I didn't want to wake them.

"Seriously, Ino? You need to get off of him. He doesn't deserve you." I could feel blood rush to my cheeks at this statement. What was it about Shikamaru that made my stomach do somersaults? We've been broken up for months and I still get all weak in the knees whenever he's around (which was quite often considering my parents consistently arranged dinners, thinking we were still "an item").

This cannot turn into a late night "pour-your-heart-out" visit. Keep it professional, Ino.

"I can have any guy I want, and he's the guy I want." I heard him sigh, really loud. His blankets rustled. Was he leaving? That would make sleep a hell of a lot easier.

He did, in fact, get up. He paused at my bed before grabbing a pillow and walking out of the room. I heaved a deep breath and finally got some sleep.

* * *

The next morning was only one awkward particle in a sea of embarrassment and heartbreak. I was in the kitchen making myself an egg while Shikamaru and my parents sat in the living room. I couldn't see, but I could hear. I couldn't decide if it would have been worse to see them, too.

"So, Shikamaru. We hear so much about you. Ino just goes on and on; 'Shikamaru this, Shikamaru that!'" False. My mother giggled as she spoke this. I could picture her face: lines rolling up on her forehead and around her lips as she twirled her white blond (almost turning grey) hair.

'Hn.' I could almost bet that's what Shikamaru would say, probably sensing that was a lie, followed by my father sighing at his impoliteness. Daddy had just gotten used to our relationship before we broke up. He had finally accepted that we were together and then…well I don't have to say it, do I?

But I digress, I prepared myself for Shikamaru's unflattering response, but what came next surprised me.

"So then she must have told you about my next mission," My mother inserted an interested "Oh!"

"I leave in two days." What!? Shikamaru—leaving! I could barely take that once. In fact, that's why we broke up! In fact, in fact, that's why he's here! My parents wanted to celebrate his homecoming by having him stay with us at a lodge! And now he's leaving again! I couldn't bare it!

I got so flustered that I slammed my fist down in frustration. How could he be so inconsiderate?! He knows I hate it when he leaves—

"Ino, darling! Your hand!" My mother screamed as I looked down at my extremity. The outside rim of my pinkie to my wrist was hot and throbbing, slowly turning to pink, then red. Only then did I feel the pain. I looked back up at my parents, staring at me in a panic, and Shikamaru, not relaying any emotion at all. Typical, I thought. He doesn't even care if I burn to death.

"Hurry, Inoichi. Run some cold water!" My dad started towards me, but Shikamaru laid his hand in front daddy's chest, stopping him.

Great, he's just going to let me stand here and burn... Wait, why is he coming towards me? I thought.

I furrowed my brow followed by a wince at the rush of air that graced my hand as Shikamaru led me to the hall bathroom. It was only a half bath, so we had to squeeze in. He shut the door; I shut my eyes at the pain. Why would he close the door? Why wouldn't he use the kitchen sink that was right there at the scene of the crime? Why did he—

"Ino, this has got to stop." He spoke in the tenderest voice I'd ever heard come out of him. I moaned in confusion, and agony.

"This thing with your parents. We can't lead them on any longer. We have to tell them. I don't care how much your dad hurts me, we're leading them down the primrose path, and they don't deserve it. I'm leaving soon, and we can't have them on this train of thought for another year." He grabbed my hand and gently held it under the cold water. I gripped his shirt with my uninjured hand, partly out of the pain, but mostly out of shock. He'd be gone for a_ year_!? And if he told my parents, he'd leave. I couldn't let this happen. How would I exist without him for 12 months!?

My body moved quicker than my brain and I yanked him down by his shirt, planting my lips on his. It felt so wonderful to be in that familiar position. The grassy smell of him from all those years of lying on the hills, watching the clouds. The feel of his lips on mine, and his tongue playing with my own. It was better than drugs. I never wanted to let this go. But my hand…I needed to scream from this pain. But his lips…I needed to stay in this moment. Torture overtook ecstasy and I released my lips from his, instantly letting out a tormented scream and then the tears. How could I bear this pain much longer? Shikamaru's leaving in two days and my hand is numb. I fell limp on the bathroom floor, pulling Shikamaru down with me. I knew it would only be a few more seconds before my parents came rushing in. Now or never.

"Shikamaru. I need you…" I sighed before finally letting him go and cradling my throbbing hand and aching heart. I didn't even hear the door burst open, or feel my dad carry me upstairs.

* * *

I felt a smooth hand caress my cheek. It was dark as I awoke from my slumber. The curtains were closed in the room, and little cracks of light shone out from the uncovered parts of the window. I sighed, "Shikamaru…" Turning my head to the owner of the hand that was patting my head, I saw my mother.

"No, honey, he's downstairs with your father." Remembering the incident, I lifted my burnt hand. It was wrapped in bandages like the ones I wear. My mother must have noticed that I recognized them because she said, "We went through your suitcase and used some of your gauze, if that's alright. Your father didn't pack any bandages." I could see my mother roll her eyes as my own adjusted to the dark. Did Shikamaru leave? My confession wasn't exactly the most romantic. What if he thought I was pathetic? What if—

"Can I talk with her?" My mother's head snapped over to the door as she jumped at his sudden speech. She smiled, kissed my cheek and left. Great, alone with Shikamaru. He's probably going to tell me how stupid I've been acting.

"I leave tomorrow, you know." Tomorrow? I slept a whole day!? That's 24 hours I could have spent with Shikamaru, good moments or not. This weekend was sure going great. Just according to plan. I sat up in bed, a little too quickly because I got that whiplash feeling in the back of my head. But I wouldn't show Shikamaru that I'm still weak. No, I won't leave him with that opinion of me, not like I did before.

I ambled to the dresser in the front of the room and toyed with the radio, flipping through different stations. My pointer finger was two notches past 105.8 when my world froze. Maybe I was still asleep. No, this was definitely happening. His arms around my waist felt all too real.

"Do you know how many times I've thought about you saying you love me again?" He whispered into my ear before placing his lips gingerly down the nape of my neck. My legs went weak and I tilted my head back to lie on his shoulder. This sensation, this familiarity of being in his arms. It was too overwhelming. I needed him now, faster. I wanted to pick up at the level we left off. Fast, hard, passionate. I was past slow, gentle, and sweet. I turned around in his arms and leaned forward to kiss him, but he delicately placed his fore and middle finger on my lips, stopping me. What? Wasn't this what he wanted? I furrowed my brow. How anti-climactic.

He moved closer so not even a piece of paper could slip through us, and yet our lips hadn't touched.

His voice came out husky, and rough, "I want to see just how much you need me."

* * *

**TBC  
**

* * *

I'm so sorry. I was working on my KibaHina oneshot (called So Contagious btw) and I needed some ShikaIno time to balance out my psyche. Anyway this has one more chapter that will hopefully be up this week. Review?


	2. Chapter 2

I'm pretty sure I stayed huddled up in my room that year. I don't remember leaving. I told my mom it was probably a cold or something on the days that she stayed home from work. What was the point of doing anything when stupid Shikamaru just up and left for a whole year when he knew how he felt about me? If he wasn't lying. Of course, he wasn't all that clear in the first place. He asked a simple rhetorical question that could have meant anything. Maybe he just wanted to see if I would break. Which I did, very miserably.

I do remember Sakura coming to visit me after she noticed that I'd been absent at almost every Village function. It was around the winter, I remember, because she made a comment about how she hated making herself look bigger by layering for the cold weather. I was covered under my blankets and didn't acknowledge her until she rattled a chocolate box. Then I popped my head up. What can I say? Chocolate is the ultimate aphrodisiac. She sat next to me on my bed and pulled my head down on her chest. She opened the box and handed me a chocolate. I slowly hacked into it, wanting to savor the milky taste.

"Ew, coconut! Sakura-chan!" I quickly yanked a tissue out of the box I kept glued to my bedside (many nights of tears) and spit out the putrid taste. She lightly slapped my arm.

"You didn't have to take it." She delicately picked up the tissue and disposed of it.

"You practically shoved it in my face! Let me pick one!" I shouted, grabbing the box from her hands.

"Nobody held a gun to your head." Reading the inside of the box top for a legend to the contents, I started off a new path,

"You know, this is just like Shikamaru. Just taking off like that without even letting me know until two days before—and even then, I found out by accident!" I shoved a satisfying caramel chew into my mouth. Sakura reached her hand over me and picked out a chocolate for herself.

"Well, you _were_ broken up. He's not obligated to tell you everything as if you were together. Besides, he was probably so heartbroken without you that he had to get away—get his mind off things." I rolled my eyes.

"Or he could just relish in the fact that him leaving was why we broke up. Every time we'd fight—off he went. Even when we didn't fight—he'd randomly leave and call me like a week later: 'Oh, I'm on a special mission with Temari, be back in a month.' And always with that sand _princess_. She's not even a princess! Name one_ royal_ thing about her! I'll give you one: royal pain in my ass. Slut." I clamped my mouth shut at my ranting. But Sakura didn't seem to mind. She kept on gabbing on about how much he missed me.

"…I'm sure he'll be back soon and all over you." I turned my attention to the T.V, changing the subject as quickly as possible.

"Why do I watch Super Sentai? It's a kid's show." I looked down on the chocolate box and started to fray the edges while Sakura gasped in awe, "Oh! This is the one with Hyakujuu Sentai Gaoranger!" I became infatuated by the way the cardboard split as the world turned more blurry. I whispered to myself,

"What if he never comes back?"

* * *

It was late November. Only one more month of waiting. It's amazing I hadn't slowly rotted away in my own tears and soggy blankets. I never thought I'd be taken by Shikamaru. Lazy, stupid Shikamaru. But I can't imagine life without him now. Well, I kind of could, considering I went 11 months without him.

I decided it was time to stop moping. I was Yamanaka Ino; no man brought me down. It was the first time I'd emerged from my room in a long while; my dad almost spit out his coffee, and my mom dropped a china plate when I groggily ambled into the kitchen. I was in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt—actually, one I had stolen from Shikamaru after he left—one that I had set to return but never got to it. I quickly tied my hair up, grabbed my house keys and left before my parents could confront me about my "emotions."

It was pretty cold for a November afternoon. The wind was biting much harder than its usual light counterpart. I pulled my arms inside the sweatshirt and pulled the neck hole over my nose: not only a mechanism for warmth, but a chance to inhale the intoxicating aroma that all Nara men seemed to be endowed with.

I did it; I was out in unfamiliar territory of the village. But where to go? I thought, I probably should return Shikamaru's sweatshirt, but then I wouldn't have a jacket for the way back. Then again he might get angry if he returns only to find out that I had stolen from him. Then again, again he won't be back for another month. Ah, might as well go.

So I began the treck to the house of Nara.

* * *

I lightly tapped on the door of the house I had once known so well. I got a strong sense of déjà-vu patiently waiting to be greeted by Mrs. Nara. When the door did open, I was surprised to see an older version of the man I love so much to welcome me. His eyes searched above me, as if expecting someone taller. Then a look of surprise graced his face as he found out it was little me at the door.

"Expecting someone else?" I squeaked out, looking around him for the comfort of Mama Yoshi. He sighed, "Yoshino isn't here—out shopping. What do you need?" He had a cold front on his voice; a sharp edge I wasn't used to. He was quiet, but not rude.

"I um…left something in Shikamaru's room. May I go get it?" I quietly piped out. He eyed me before his left eyebrow raised considerably high.

"He's not here you know." I almost cried at the statement said aloud.

"I know that, Mr. Nara." He stepped aside, probably noticing I was near tears and not wanting to deal with it.

I quietly crept up the stairs to Shikamaru's bedroom, almost as if I wasn't supposed to be here. I creaked his door open and popped my head in. What am I doing? No one's in here, I thought.

His room was extremely messy, as assumed. Clothes randomly scattered everywhere, sheets messed up, random dishes of food huddled in the corner. I stepped in, uneasy. I felt as if the floor was made of paper thin ice. I quickly leaped onto his bed and cluttered the blankets around me. Gazing around his room, I wondered how much time I would have before his dad would come and check on me. In the far corner of his room, almost invisible, I spotted a purple book. It stuck out amidst the grey pattern of color surrounding me. I silently picked it up and dusted it off a bit. It was plain, not markings or tears in the seams. Probably never used. I flipped through some pages; empty. Why had I held my breath? What could I have expected to be in there? I flopped the book upside down on his comforter and began the search the crevices of a tiny bookshelf next to his cluttered desk.

School books, more empty journals, some packs of paper. Gracing upon a book I had given him—my personal favorite book (Pride and Prejudice)—I carried it to his bed and cracked open a page.

"If a woman is partial to a man, and does not endeavour to conceal it, he must find it out."

I smiled as I read one of my many favorite passages. Running my thumb over the pages, I wondered whether Shikamaru ever read this page, and thought of me.

I felt a pain in my thumb. Looking down, a thin line of red ran down the side of my hand. I cursed quietly and reached for a tissue on the floor next to his bed. As I did so, like a clutz, I knocked, like, everything off of his bed. Not like it would matter, compared to the rest of the room, but it bothered me. I quickly doctored my thumb and began picking things up.

My eyes fell upon the purple journal, lying on its back. I saw words. He had written in it! Shikamaru—a diary?! No wonder he was so quiet; he had an emotional outlet! I knew he had a soul!

I dropped everything I had picked up and thoughtfully thumbed to the first page that had been written on:

"July four. I watched her cry again tonight. Sitting atop a branch, gazing into her room. I wish I could jump through the window and lay with her. She's crying so much. Shouldn't she run out of tears? She's too beautiful to be wasting her emotion on sadness. Although, it is my fault. Pretending to leave. I put her in such heartache. Some kids started throwing fireworks. Her light was on when I left."

Another one:

"July ten. I saw her today. She didn't see me. After months of watching her, she finally showed herself outside the Yamanaka household. It was only to get the mail, but her beautiful face glowed in the summer afternoon sun. I almost felt guilty for watching her…"

I was engrossed with his entries. Going back to when he first left for his mission. Or supposedly left. Based on reading the entries, he had never left at all. In fact he had watched me in all my depression practically every night for a year! Why would he do that!? What kind of sick joke is that!? My head was pounding when I heard a knock at his door. I jumped when I saw the younger of the Nara men. Shikamaru. What was he doing back so early!? I wanted to jump up and hug him! Wait! He left me for a year and actually watched me go through torturous heartbreak! I can't show him affection.

I felt myself put up an icy cold wall.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered. He chuckled.

"I live here. I believe the question is, what are you doing here?" I fumbled with the journal, setting it aside. Remembering the sweatshirt, I pulled it off, bundled it up, and threw it at him. He was caught off guard but caught it anyway. I had to cross my arms over my tank top, not prepared for the instant blast of cold air.

"Wait a minute. Didn't you miss me? I know I missed you. That's why I left my mission early: to see you." As much as that made my insides do flips, I couldn't stand for him lying straight to my face.

My blood boiled. "I know you weren't on a mission, Shikamaru. You pretended to leave and then got off watching me cry. You're a pervert!" I could see his eyes sadden. This was quite a change compared to his usual glazed look.

"You're right. I didn't leave." I inserted a huff of being right. He joined me on his bed and I crossed my arms tighter and moved away. He set a hand on my shoulder. Considering the cold weather, his skin was comfortably warm.

"Ino…I had to see if you really meant what you said last year. I couldn't put myself in a position to get hurt."

I whipped my ponytail around to face him. "You get hurt!? I cried myself to sleep almost every night because you were protecting yourself!"

His brow furrowed and a seriousness chilled over his eyes. He lifted me up off the bed, placed his hand dominantly on my back and guided me out of his house. As much as I hated him touching me, he was too strong for me to overcome and part of me wanted to let him have control over me. He let me go out the front door first, followed by him locking the door. "I'm walking you home," he said, void of emotion. A chill went up my spine at his words. A demand, not a suggestion.

We were silent most of the trip. I was cold and thankful for the small bit of warmth that Shikamaru's hand spread on my back. I jumped when he spoke, "Do you know what you would've done to me if I had come back to you back when we were broken up?" I almost cried at hearing him say those words. I opened my mouth to answer, but his voice came out.

"You would've spit in my face, broken my heart, and rejected me. I couldn't take that. So when I finally decided to try at this relationship again, I had to make sure it was the right thing to do and I wouldn't get hurt again." I could feel my cheeks turn hot, even though it was November and I was in a tank top. I stopped him in the middle of street.

"Shikamaru," I started. Partly for extra warmth, and partly to be in his arms again, I pushed myself against his chest and pulled his arms around me. Amazingly, he didn't protest as I breathed in that familiar Nara aroma.

I wasn't sure how to begin, "…I've always been in love with you. I can't even remember why we had broken up now. It's been so long, and I can't last another day without you. If you had come back to me last year, I would've been back by your side in a heartbeat. Honest." I raised my right hand as a sign of my pledge.

I could see varying emotions run across his face before he finally said, "All the days wasted."

FIN

I'm so sorry I didn't post this earlier! I was going to post it on Valentine's Day, but then I said, "No it can wait." What an idiot mistake that was! After that, I moved and didn't get cable again until like Wednesday!

So grr! But anyway, it's up now.


End file.
